Biljana 5.9.1959 – 10.11.1998

Fourteen years ago on this day my cousin died: i still didn’t dare open her suitcase and deal with her papers, photos, drawings and make a book out of it as i promised myself. In some cases time does not heal, on the contrary. Maybe some day i will just add my suitcase next to hers for somebody else to do the heavy lifting, if!
These are the two stories i wrote dedicated to her and i have nothing more to say! I remember her alive and kicking and often i say and do things in her name too, that is, i gather the courage and insight as if she was next to me making me braver as she often used to.
Biljana
BEZ IDEJA
 Sama, potpuno sama, kao tikva na đubretu prošla je kroz ovaj provincijski svet. Koliki je kosmos a ja živim na ovoj besmislenoj planeti koja ništa ne zna o sebi, mislila je kad god bi pogledala u mesec ili sunce. Noću nije mogla da spava kao ni danju. Kao mala plakala je od nesanice dovodeći sebe do histeričnog napada, a sada kao odrasla luda žena gledala je u nebo.
Majka ju je napustila još pre njenog rođenja: umrla je na porođaju, a prisutan otac lekar rekao je kolegama, bacivši svoj mantil preko tela mrtve žene: neću da vidim stvorenje koje mi je ubilo ženu. Do sudnjeg njegovog dana taj odnos prema njoj nije se promenio. More

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